Sample Ground Rules

At the start of each Small Group year, all groups begin by using the ground rules listed here. These rules, along with the Unitarian Universalist Statement of Principles, serve as the foundation for each Small Group's practice. After the fourth session, each group will then create their own "Covenant," deciding together how to modify the rules to best suit their group.

Creating a Space for Deep Listening and Sharing

To create an environment that encourages deep and respectful listening and sharing, Small Group members agree on rules such as:

  • Listen Deeply. Focus on listening intently and honoring all contributions. Don't criticize, make judgments about, or offer unsolicited advice to other group members.
  • Don't "Cross-Talk." When other members are speaking, don't interrupt. In addition, we should refrain from commenting until everyone else has had chance to share (often referred to as no "cross-talk").
  • Use "I-Statements." Focus on sharing our own feelings and experiences- each of us should speak from our heart about our own experiences, not what we have read or heard about others. Many of us find it useful to remember to start sentences with "I-statements" such as "I feel..." or "I hope to...".
  • Share the Air. During open discussions, remember to leave room for everyone to speak. Try to limit how long each of us speaks so that all group members have a chance to share their perspectives.
  • Maintain the Right of Reticence. If a member doesn't feel comfortable sharing during a particular part of a gathering, she or he has the right to pass and share later or not at all.
  • Don't Expect Resolution. Remember that our purpose is simply to be present for one another and to learn about and explore topics together. We can't expect our Small Group to solve a group member's personal problem or to come to a resolution about a topic.
  • Respect Members' Privacy. Small Groups provide a safe environment for members to share their deepest thoughts when they feel comfortable doing so. We must respect each other's wishes about if or how or to mention things shared within the Small Group when interacting with fellow group members in the larger setting of the church community.
  • Attend Gatherings Consistently. Because consistently participating in the meetings is key to forming and deepening connections among group members, we all agree to make attendance a high priority. We come to care about each other, and miss those who aren’t there.
  • Share Ownership of the Group. The Small Group belongs to all of the members, and all of us are responsible for ensuring that the group follows the ground rules. While facilitators will gently remind members of the ground rules if needed, each member also has the right to ask for a "process check" if one of us feels the group needs a reminder on a certain rule.

Agreeing on Meeting Mechanics

Consistent meeting mechanics also help create a space where all group members feel comfortable and respected. Consequently, members generally decide together how to treat:

  • Starting/Ending on Time
  • Breaks
  • Where to meet

Connection to the Larger Community

Finally, connecting to the larger community is an essential part of UUSF's mission for Small Groups. To ensure that this is reflected in each group, Small Group members generally agree to:

  • Perform Service Projects. Group members work together on at least one service project during the year as a way to both live our principles and to serve our larger community.
  • Endeavor to Attend Sunday Services. Although it is not required, regularly attending Sunday Worship services offers us a way to build on the connections that we make in Small Groups and to remain connected to the larger church community.
  • Welcome New Members. Small Groups keep an open chair at each gathering to remind ourselves that we remain open to welcoming new group members throughout the year.